Outed on WWP-69G
by darkhavens
Pairing/Characters: McKay/Sheppard, misunderstandings of the Rodney/Teyla, John/Teyla and Ford/Teyla kind
Rating: PG
Words: 851
Summary: Does Rodney look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands?
Notes: Written for beadtific
The women of the village welcomed Teyla with open arms, leaving Ford, John and Rodney feeling ignored and out of place.
"I don't like this. I don't like this at all."
Rodney, as per usual, went straight to the worst-case scenario. "I can't see a single man in the village apart from us. This could be some kind of Amazon tribe we've stumbled into, and they're about to kill us all or…" His eyes widened in horror. "Or they're going to use us to breed a new generation of their kind. There could be other men held prisoner, forced to rut like animals to propagate the species, but I don't see any children about either. They might…"
"Rodney." The exasperation in John's voice came though loud and clear, even as he moved closer and leaned into the ruffled scientist, comforting the man with his solid presence. "We've been here five minutes and no-one's tried to take our guns or even looked at us weird. How did you get from that to 'they're going to use us for sex'?"
~
The eldest of the villagers reached out and patted Teyla's arm, either in reassurance or in sympathy.
"I am sorry that your men have not yet gifted you with child. Perhaps if you kept those two out of each other's beds, they might be more willing to provide you with an heir." She smirked at the look of surprise on Teyla's face, then turned and quickly ran a connoisseur's eye over Ford. "However, the youngest one looks more than willing to make up the difference."
Teyla blinked at the elder's knowing grin.
"I…" Teyla found she really didn't know what to say to that. The silence stretched and threatened to become awkward, and then the old crone's face crumpled up into a wizened, wicked grin.
"My apologies. I am used to speaking my mind without a second thought. I embarrassed you by questioning the loyalty of your men. I am sure they serve you first and well and put their own needs second. But, if you do not wish to keep a pair such as that, I'm sure we could come to some arrangement. Many of our women only have one or two husbands, and would certainly be willing to take one of yours off your hands.
"At present, the men are working on the latest crop of vines. There should be several hundred bales of fabric prepared by next high moon, and our dyers can produce a myriad of shades and colours. Come, see the samples we keep in the trading house, and bring the young one with you. I'm sure those two can entertain themselves."
~
"She said what? Wait. Wait! She thinks we're all your husbands and that the major and I are…?" Rodney looked everywhere but at John. "How did she come up with an idea like that? Do I look like a man who would cheat on his wife with another one of her husbands? Is it something in the way I hold my gun? The way I stand?"
Teyla tried hard not to smile. "Actually, they say it is how Major Sheppard keeps touching you. Physical contact - affection - like that is rarely seen amongst their men. To touch another so easily and to not be rebuffed speaks to them of affection returned. In their culture that signifies a relationship."
They both looked stunned.
"Now I will go and examine the trade goods and see what they will accept in return. I have already told them that I will be keeping all of my husbands, so you should not be bothered by any of the women checking you over for trade. Ford, the elder has asked that you accompany me to the trading house. We will return once a deal has been negotiated."
With a regal nod, and confident that Ford was at her back, Teyla returned to the waiting women and allowed them to lead the way.
Silence reigned for several minutes before Rodney finally noticed the expression on John's face. He exploded.
"Wait! So… So… You… Why didn't you tell me?! Or at least make it obvious you were interested!"
"Rodney, I wasn't sure you were…"
"Oh, please, Major! I let you hit me with sticks, fire a very real bullet at me, I even let you throw me off a balcony! Do you honestly think I'd let just anyone do that? You were bored and wallowing in guilt and I… I just wanted to make you smile. Dammit, we could have been having sex for months if you weren't so dumb!"
Rodney grabbed a handful of shirt and reeled John in for a kiss born of realisation and months of harsh frustration. Hands roamed freely as tongues fought for dominance, and they were both flushed and panting when they parted to take a breath.
"You know this doesn't solve anything, right, Rodney? If we do this there are going to have to be rules; can you do discreet?" Rodney stole the rest of John's words with another sloppy kiss.
"I'll fake it."
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